About six months after the birth of my second child – I gave
up. Until that point, I was a
from-scratch cook, I exercised often enough to run a half marathon, I did a
decent job of keeping up with laundry and dishes (although that area has always
been a struggle), and in general I felt like I had my head above water. But
then some serious frustrations potty-training my older child (ask me about the
2 year training plan – I’m an expert!), combined with a strained marriage, plus
the normal stress of a new baby crawling all over the place, and I was pretty
fed up with trying to be the ideal housewife. I even thought average was more
than I could manage.
At the time, I imagined I would just take it easy for a few
months – order takeout more often, let myself and my house go for a little
while. Trouble with that plan is then
you always feel behind – it has not been the season of rest, and then back to normal,
that I was hoping for. Kathi Lipp’s Clutter
Free book has been helpful, and I
have certainly gotten rid of lots of stuff, but I have found it impossible for
me to get and stay clutter free while I feel overwhelmed by a never ending “to
do” list.
Many things I do are wonderful and fulfilling – dancing,
leading MOPS, teaching Bible studies, reading to my children, baking, and
more. But then I have to stuff all the
necessities of life in around the edges of my schedule – shopping, dishes,
organizing kids' stuff, sorting papers and finances, etc. There is not enough
time around the edges to fit all that in – it’s overwhelming!
I am literally trying to do more than I can do, and have had
a growing realization that something must change. But I’ve been afraid of what a new pared down
“to do“ list would look like. Would I have
to cut out everything I love doing? Spend
my days folding laundry and running errands?
Ugh. No thanks. I would rather be frustrated than bored!
So I jumped at the chance to hear what Kathi Lipp and Cheri
Gregory had to share in their newest book.
I expected Overwhelmed to
offer some reasons behind my tendency toward chaos, as well as some practical
tips for getting out from under it.
Kathi and Cheri’s book delivered on both counts. The first chapter delves
into some of the how and why of all the different varieties of overwhelmed, and
more of that is sprinkled throughout. In the rest of the book, the authors
share personal stories, describe different aspects of being overwhelmed, and
offer suggestions for overcoming it.
Some of these suggestions were simply reminders to do things
I already know – like meal plan. But
there are other ideas that were new to me and I look forward to trying – such
as creating a personal manifesto, and using a calendar to plan, as opposed to
an endless “to do” list. This gives me
hope that I (or someone else) will indeed be able to accomplish the not-so-fun
“must dos” of life while also prioritizing those things I find fulfilling and
enjoyable. For sure I will need to make
some hard choices, but at least I will be the one in charge, instead of
haphazardly dropping tasks from my list because I run out of time.
My particular kind of overwhelm stems from being a mother of
small children, but Kathi and Cheri address many different kinds of overwhelm
that impact women. The chapters dealing
with unhealthy relationship patterns are particularly insightful. I think in the future I will see this book as
a resource -- going back to re-read chapters as I reach different stages of
life and struggle in different ways. The
book doesn’t address every area in depth (it can’t, or it would be textbook
size), but each chapter gives good practical ideas for escaping the chaos and
there are recommended reading lists throughout – so you can explore more in the
areas most helpful to you.
Despite some heavy topics, this is a fun book to read
because of the personal stories and encouraging tone. I now have a plan to start the new year with
a few small changes to lessen my current level of overwhelm, and I am hopeful
these changes will be the beginning of many more.
I received an Advanced Reader Copy for free, but I like this
so much I am buying the final version for myself as well. For more information, and to get your own copy, check out www.overwhelmed.website.
